Every year people make resolutions ... they are going to lose weight, quit smoking, stop drinking, etc. Unfortunately, most of these are abandoned after the first week. So I thought it might be fun to write some dog resolutions ... the suggestions came from my interview with my Labrador!
- Resolution #1: I will become best friends with the mailman or anyone delivering packages. I will not chase his truck or jump up on him. But geesh, I'm just trying to be friendly, not aggressive.
- Resolution #2: I will not bring you dead mice. You have your trophies and I have mine, but okay, I get it.
- Resolution #3: If I get sick in the middle of the night, I will try and make the toilet. If not, I will try and hit the tile versus the carpeting.
- Resolution #4. I will not eat my poop, the cat's poop or another dog's poop. I also will not eat the baby's diapers!
- Resolution #5: I will stop watching you play video games and do a few laps around the house to get more exercise.
- Resolution #6: I will be less afraid of the vacuum or other things that make loud noises. But I'm not making ANY promises about the fireworks on the Fourth of July.
- Resolution #7: I will try and not talk to you (aka bark at you) when you are on the phone.
- Resolution #8: I won't nudge you at your desk when you are busy working. But it really is all about me isn't it?
- Resolution #9: I will not freak out when you leave the house, but I get bored and I miss you. Maybe you could leave me with a to do list like you do with the kids. Maybe I could help organize my toy bin (by the way, they are looking a little raggedy ... is there a new toy in my future?
- Resolution#10: I'll stop counter surfing if you promise to sneak me some table scraps every once in a while.
What I’m Not Changing:
- I will continue to fart and not feel bad about it. Dad does it and he doesn't feel bad ... in fact he still laughs!
- If you come home smelling like another dog, I will get jealous. Don't cheat on me.
- I will continue to try and get what I want by whining (a little) and giving you my best sad eyes.
- If it lands on the floor, forget about the five second rule ... it's mine!
- I will not tug the stuffing out of your pillows if you buy me a tug toy!
- I know I am spoiled and have a pretty cushy life. I suppose I could learn to share if you took in a foster dog.
- I won't wake you up every morning by jumping up on the bed. But really, that alarm gets annoying when you hit the snooze five times.
- I will not stop chasing the squirrels and rabbits ... they taunt me by thinking they are faster than me.
- I will take my pills without spitting them back up only if they are wrapped in peanut butter or another yummy treat.
- I will chew up your New Year's resolution list so you don't have to feel bad when you break all your good intentions!